I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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