DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
