booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
