Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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