is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
