It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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