have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
