i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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