Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
