Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Please don't give away my fajitas
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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