Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
