He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
