Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
