ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
