where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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