So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
