Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
