Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
