i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
