This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
