she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
