Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
