babies were throwing up all over the place
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
