Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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