Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
