What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
