3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
