You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
