Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
