marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
