this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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