"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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