I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
