They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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