i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
