so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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