do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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