look no pants
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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