whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
