How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
