It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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