and next time when you feel me up, do it right
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
