i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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