my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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