I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
