that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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