I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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