Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
