Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize
