question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My bed smells like the plague
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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