I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
did i just pee glitter
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
