**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
zippers are such a cool invention
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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