ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
